Beauty in Healing

Beauty in Healing

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Don't believe them when they tell you that your not beautiful!





Everyone reaches their breaking point...people standing their waiting for you to fail...they say who are you?? you will never make it!!! They try and rip you apart and criticizes you on being REAL..TRUE...GENUINE...AUTHENTIC...AN OPEN BOOK....while they hide who they truly are. Don't let them get you down...close your eyes and take a deep breath...think about the most amazing pure thing you possibly can...AND that pure thought is WHO YOU REALLY ARE!! And you are BEAUTIFUL!! So don't let them knock you down and get off track..stay true and on course moving forward pushing through the resistance...NEVER BACKING DOWN. That's what makes you different and why your going places and making the most of your life.

This song really pulled on my heart strings tonight.
Beautiful by Eminem

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me
Are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me
I'm reaching out for you

I'm just so fucking depressed, I just can't seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump, but I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps, fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up, in order for me to pick the mic back up
I don't know how or why or when, I ended up in this position I'm in
I'm startin' to feel distant again, so I decided to just pick this pen
Up to try to make an attempt to vent, but I just can't admit
Or come to grips with the fact that I may be done with rap, I need a new outlet
And I know some shits so hard to swallow, but I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow, but I know one fact, I'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to follow, I'll be one tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow, but you got to walk a thousand miles

In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside eachothers minds
Just to see, what we find, look at shit through eachothers eyes
But don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humour
Everything's so tense and gloom, I
Almost feel like I gotta check the temperature of the room
Just as soon as I walk in, It's like all eyes on me, so I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that it then it opens the door for conversation, like I want that
I'm not looking for extra attention, I just wanna be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room, maybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need no fuckin' man servant, tryna follow me around and wipe my ass
Laugh at every single joke I crack, and half of them ain't even funny, like "AAHHHHH!
Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn!"
Unfortunately I am, I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down, listen to the tale I'm about to tell, hell
We don't gotta trade our shoes, and you ain't gotta walk no thousand miles

In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside eachothers minds
Just to see, what we find, look at shit through eachothers eyes
But don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

Nobody asked for life to deal us with these bullshit hands we're dealt
We gotta take these cards ourselves, and flip them, don't expect no help
Now I could of either just sat on my ass, and pissed and moaned
Or take this situation in which I'm placed in, and get up and get my own
I was never the type of kid to wait by the door and pack his bags
Or sat on the porch and hoped and prayed for a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit in in every single place, every school I went
I dreamed of being that cool kid even if it meant acting stupid
Aunt Edna always told me, keep making that face til it gets stuck like that
Meanwhile I'm just standing there holding my tounge, tryna talk like BLEGH!
Then I stuck my tounge on that frozen stop sign pole at eight years old
I learned my lesson then, 'cause I wasn't trying to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life story, not just based off my description
Cause where you see it form where you're sitting, is probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a miles in eachothers shoes at least
What size you wear, I wear 10's, let's see if you can fit your feet

In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside eachothers minds
Just to see, what we find, look at shit through eachothers eyes
But don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me
Are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me
I'm reaching out for you

Yeah, to my babies, stay strong, dad will be home soon
And to the rest of the world... God gave you them shoes, to fit you
So put them on and wear them... be yourself man, be proud of who you are
Even if it sounds corny... don't ever let no one tell you, you ain't beautiful



Don't let anyone get you down or believing crap about yourself that's not true...JUST BE YOU...your beautiful for all the good and bad with in ya...that's what makes you unique and who you are. BRITT :)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Knowing your limits.



We all come from a past full of regret,hurt,insecurity's, and SCARS that we may have caused or that someone else gave us. For a long time I have carried around my baggage and have let my past dictate my future.
I know it's hard and it hurts but I no longer want to live that way. I say "If you don't have a past..Your boring." So if you have made "Mistakes" learn from them and let it go. Use it to better understand WHO YOU ARE and what your limits are. What is it that keeps getting in the way of you accomplishing great things. Learn what triggers you to stumble and fall.... and then... Get it the hell out of the way...you are going somewhere in life and there isn't time to waste tripping over the same damn things. Take it from Albert Einstein when he say's "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
After looking insane running into the same wall over and over again I decided I better turn around and head the other way LOL ;)
On the flip side People are people and they aren't perfect so WE ALL have been hurt by somebody at some point in life.
My heart still aches over things that have happened to me but, you know I am truly grateful for them...Now I am stronger and have the ability to relate to people on a much deeper and more compassionate level. I relate it to.... two mothers self conscious of their stretch marks from having children...both worried the other one will think they look grose if thy see but, once THEY take a good look at each other they can laugh and feel connected in knowing THEY BOTH have stretch marks...then they can talk about how it was worth it because, now they have beautiful children.
Ever since I have been willing to be transparent with people and have given them a good look at how imperfect I am...WOW...it has allowed them to feel comfortable in doing the same...it's so freeing to just be authentic and really connect with someone.
Now that I know it's not a sign of weakness to cry and that it's okay to show my hurt....I feel like I can breath as I let myself heal. sometimes there truly is beauty in pain.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Sometimes if you want to get somewhere better you have to leave some place behind.


There comes a time in life when one chapter is ending and another one has begun.
This new chapter of my life is a journey really, of letting go of the past and embracing my future. Why modeling?? Well...in my own way I am facing my fear.
I have felt both broken and worthless inside and have always struggled with not feeling good enough. I have been emotionally eaten alive and put down to wear I was so alone and numb that I didn't know who I was any more. The following is a song that reminds me of how I was feeling:

"Scream" by Zoegirl

Does anybody know how I feel?
Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome
Does anybody care what's going on?
Do I have to wear my scars like a badge on my arm
For you to see me, I need release

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?
Do I have to bleed for you to see me?
'Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me
Do I need to scream?

Has anybody seen what's been done?
Where was my defense? No one heard my protest
The eyes of God were watching me
It's time to make my peace, let it go and be released
So I can breathe again
I'm on my knees

I've been marked, set apart
But I'm cut so deep and afraid of the dark
One drop of blood from the hole in Your hand
Is enough to heal me and make me stand

'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me

I don't have to scream for Him to hear me
Don't have to bleed for Him to see me
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me
I don't have to scream
I don't have to bleed
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening
And I don't have to scream


One night I couldn't take the pain anymore and I felt God pushing me to move forward
and make a change in my life. I had to take a walk in the unknown and at times I physically could not breath but, I pushed through it anyway and am stronger for it.
I no longer regret any of my past... I have more depth because of it. A good friend once told me that "Sometimes in life you have to experience who you are not inorder to experience who you are." I LOVE THAT!!!
So here I am putting myself out there for the world to see knowing VERY well that I am not EVERYBODY'S flavor and may get criticism but, I am a flavor and I want to embrace the beauty in that. I know there really is beauty in healing and the rainbow always comes after the rain.