Sometimes if you want to get somewhere better you have to leave some place behind.

There comes a time in life when one chapter is ending and another one has begun.
This new chapter of my life is a journey really, of letting go of the past and embracing my future. Why modeling?? Well...in my own way I am facing my fear.
I have felt both broken and worthless inside and have always struggled with not feeling good enough. I have been emotionally eaten alive and put down to wear I was so alone and numb that I didn't know who I was any more. The following is a song that reminds me of how I was feeling:

"Scream" by Zoegirl

Does anybody know how I feel?
Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome
Does anybody care what's going on?
Do I have to wear my scars like a badge on my arm
For you to see me, I need release

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?
Do I have to bleed for you to see me?
'Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me
Do I need to scream?

Has anybody seen what's been done?
Where was my defense? No one heard my protest
The eyes of God were watching me
It's time to make my peace, let it go and be released
So I can breathe again
I'm on my knees

I've been marked, set apart
But I'm cut so deep and afraid of the dark
One drop of blood from the hole in Your hand
Is enough to heal me and make me stand

'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me

I don't have to scream for Him to hear me
Don't have to bleed for Him to see me
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me
I don't have to scream
I don't have to bleed
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening
And I don't have to scream

One night I couldn't take the pain anymore and I felt God pushing me to move forward
and make a change in my life. I had to take a walk in the unknown and at times I physically could not breath but, I pushed through it anyway and am stronger for it.
I no longer regret any of my past... I have more depth because of it. A good friend once told me that "Sometimes in life you have to experience who you are not inorder to experience who you are." I LOVE THAT!!!
So here I am putting myself out there for the world to see knowing VERY well that I am not EVERYBODY'S flavor and may get criticism but, I am a flavor and I want to embrace the beauty in that. I know there really is beauty in healing and the rainbow always comes after the rain.